Welcome to Night Vale High
by Danica Ambrose
Summary: Cecil Palmer is a freshman at Night Vale High. Facing bullies, boy scouts, and being an aid at the library, Cecil is convinced that he won't live to see his sophomore year. Note that this isn't going to feature Carlos or Dana or anyone. This is what I think happened while he was in high school.


Cecil decided he hated high school. He'd only been in the school for five minutes, but that conclusion was an easy one to reach, seeing as he'd already been shoved in his own locker. Cecil never was one to rush to conclusions, and he usually waited to see how things would pan out, but he had already thought that he would hate high school beforehand, so being shoved into a locker only gave him a good, solid reason to hate it.

That isn't to say he thought it was bad. He knew it could have been worse. He could have been fed to the trash can, like his brother's friend, Rodrick. Or he could have been shoved in a toilet, or thrown into the anti-gravity bubble around the flag pole. In fact, he was sort of lucky, if he stopped to think of other possibilities. His last locker in middle school had had a carnivorous flyer in it because the person who had had the locker the year before hadn't bothered to take it home, or at least dip it in acid which was the proper way to dispose of writing. Over the summer, it had eaten other papers and flyers, even a book, and had grown to a gigantic size. They couldn't remove it from the locker, so Cecil had to carry all his books with him, least they be eaten. He actually still had a scar on his face from the first day of school when he opened it.

That locker would have been awful to be shoved in. He probably would have eaten. This locker, on the other hand, wasn't that bad. Small, cramped, and coating him with digestive juices, yeah, but no monster. As long as he got out in a day, he'd be okay. Lockers took a long time to eat their food, since they didn't have teeth.

While he was pondering this, he heard the locker next to his open. He opened his mouth to ask if whoever it was could, perhaps, let him out, but when the kid yelped he realized that it was just another kid getting shoved into a locker, just like him. Cecil, ever the optimist, was a bit happy to at least have someone to talk to, if he couldn't get out.

"Hello?" Cecil asked, curious. "Hi, my name is Cecil. Cecil Palmer. Who are you?" There were a few minutes of silence before he heard a soft: "Earl. My name is Earl." He heard the metal creak, followed by the bang of bone on metal as the other boy tried to shift into a more comfortable position, and Earl let loose a few choice words.

Cecil smiled. He couldn't even try to shift his position, seeing as how he was upside down. "Hi, Earl. What are you doing in your locker?" He asked, curious as to why the other kid was being picked on.

He, of course, knew why he was in his locker. It happened during puberty. Everyone started growing up, and Cecil had gotten the short end of the stick. He stayed at an average height, wasn't fat nor thin. And that was fine. But he didn't get a third eye. Everyone else in his class got one, and Johnny got 4 extra eyes!

He did everything he could. He played in Raydon Canyon constantly, he bought radium rich vitamins, but nothing worked. He just couldn't get a third eye. Even his mother was embarrassed, and he couldn't blame her. His brother, Simon, had 5 eyes after all. She was always saying: "They are coming through the dark, the light blinks on the mountain." He felt awful. He'd been such a disappointment that she'd started talking crazy. Everyone knew mountains weren't real, and existed only in the Shadowlands.

Earl muttered something under his breath that even Cecil couldn't hear.

"Come again, Earl?" He asked. "Ionlyhavetwoandahalfeyes." Earl mumbled, sound slightly ashamed.

Cecil giggled. "You still have half an eye more than I do." He said, then frowned as a particularly large drop of acid sizzled through his shirt.

Earl gasped, and Cecil felt a pang in his heart. "Oooohhhhh! You're the... the..."

Cecil sighed, refusing to let tears well up in his eyes as he lost his only chance to have a friend.

"You're the Palmer kid!" Earl finished. "You're going to be in my troop this year, right?"

"Uhh... Yeah." Cecil was slightly taken aback by the other boy's reaction.

"I'm Earl Harlan!" Earl exclaimed. There was another bang as his head hit the back of his locker, but he was so excited he just kept talking. "I didn't recognize you 'cause, you know, I've never actually talked to you before... But I guess we're going to be in the same troop!"

"Neat!" Cecil practically beamed. "I mean, that you're a boy scout too. Not that you hit your head." He paused for a moment. "Is this your first year?"

"Nah." Earl said. "I've been in since I was old enough to join. The tablets say I'm going to be the scout leader when I grow up. Well... Me or Kendrick. One of us is gonna die. But I think I've got it. I've already gotten my "forced immunity to all known venom and poisons" and that's the one that kills most people. I bet Kendrick bites the dust this year."

"That's really neat, Earl. I hope you survive." Cecil paused for a moment. "Hey, Earl? You wanna be friends?" He had never been one to beat around the bush anyways.

"Sure!" Earl exclaimed, and Cecil was pretty sure he heard a smile in Earl's voice.

Cecil wondered, for a moment, what Earl looked like. But before he could put any serious thought into it though, Cecil found himself blinking in the bright, green light of the hallway as his locker door was thrown open. He felt something wrap around his ankle and pull him out, and he hit his shoulder on the door as he came out, then once more as he was dumped on the ground head first. He sure was glad that even though he wasn't one of the Night Valians who couldn't feel pain he at least had a very high pain threshold. Even though it hurt anyways.

He looked and saw Mrs. White standing over him, opening doors and pulling kids out of the lockers with her long tentacles, and he heard a few of those kids who could feel pain yelping on the other side of the hallway.

Cecil gulped. Great. First day in school, and Cecil was already meeting the principal.

"Cecil Palmer? Earl Harlan" She hissed through her second mouth as she dangled him upside by his ankle.

"Yes ma'am?" Cecil asked, calming himself by counting the drops of acid that hit the floor and burned little holes in the black linoleum, too nervous to look away from her to look at Earl.

"Why are you in your locker? Shouldn't you two be in class?" Mrs. White said, dropping him on his head.

Cecil sat up, instantly, rubbing his head. "Sorry, ma'am." He said.

"Get to class. Or I'll give you detention." She said, before gliding off, a few of her tentacles holding her off the ground as she went off to talk to the other student.

Cecil, who was still rubbing his head for some reason, suddenly remembered his new friend, Earl, who he still had no idea what he looked like. He looked over to his side and saw Earl was already standing and was holding out his pale, freckled hand to help Cecil up. Cecil took it, looking his new friend over.

Earl was tall and thin, with spiky red hair. Probably from the locker. He flashed a smile at Cecil, and Cecil noted his braces. "Earl?" Cecil asked slowly, glancing briefly at the thin outline of a third eye on the other boy's forehead.

"Yeah. Cecil?" Earl was staring at his forehead intently.

"What?" Cecil asked, strongly aware of the lack of his third eye so much it almost hurt.

"You look just fine with only two eyes." Earl said, and his smile was bright.

Cecil flushed. "Th-thank you. You look good too." He stuttered, his ears turning pink. He tried to think of a way to shift the conversation to something safer. "So, uh, you have braces?"

"Yeah. My mom did them herself. She said she wasn't going to take the risk of losing another child to the orthodontist."

"Ah." Cecil nodded. "I see. I was lucky enough to have straight teeth." He smiled, reveling mostly straight teeth, with a few crooked ones.

Earl ignored the fact that he did have crooked teeth. "Yeah. But my mom stared at the void for too long, so I have to see the orthodontist to get them off, unless I can find someone else to do it."

"I could try." Cecil offered, and Earl laughed.

"Maybe if you get your Field Dentistry badge." Earl said, smiling. "I hope so. I really don't want to go see the orthodontist. I saw what was left of my brother's body." Earl shuddered and Cecil tried to wrap his arm around his the taller boy's shoulder, standing on his tiptoes. He ultimately gave up and just patted Earl on the shoulder.

"It'll be fine, Earl. I'm sure that in the worst case scenario we'll have learned self defense, evasion, and escape tactics. I hear that they're the first badges we'll learn."

"I did learn all the weak points on medical professionals. But that was more for nurses and-" Before Earl could finish, the first bell rang, and the blood flooded out of his already pale face. "Oh man, I gotta get to class. Run for it, Cecil!" He said, running down the hallway.

Cecil took off too. He tried to keep his mind off of the punishment for being late to class, and rather on his mental map of the school. If he wasn't in class when the second bell rang, the rent-a-cop might get him, and that was a fate Cecil wouldn't wish on even Steve Carlsburg. He shuddered as he broke into a sprint, his sneakers squelching loudly on the school floor.


End file.
